A little humor from the not news department…..

Posted: October 1, 2013 by Uncle D in Uncategorized

So Uncle D has been absent from the blogosphere as of late. Haven’t had anything worthwhile to say, and I really don’t want to waste people’s time. That is until today. This blog is a complete waste of 2 minutes in your life that you will never get back so feel free to check out now!

You were warned.

This blog is about my complete lack of coolness. I know, I know, you are gasping in shock, “not cool, say it isn’t so.” Ok maybe not. Let’s face it I haven’t been cool since I owned a surf shop in my twenties, and even then I was only marginally cool. But now, I am absolutely, super geek, 15 year old dungeons and dragons not cool.

Why you ask? Because I am the absolute worst – cool hand shaker, fist bumper, high fiver, probably in any crossfit box ever! Yes it’s true. Some of you have been subjected to my hideously geeky attempts at PR sharing joy. For those of you exposed, I’m truly sorry.

It doesn’t matter what you try, high five I go fist bump. Fist bump, you get a five hand, probably with some really awkward, highly uncomfortable, sort of grab to finish. Cool arm wrestle hand shake with mini chest bump, I have no chance of getting that right. Guaranteed to be awkward for all parties. I mean, when does that handshake actually stop anyway? Is there a back pat rule, 1 pat, 2 pat, break???? I’ve got nothing.

Seriously, it’s horrible. I actually try to avoid it if at all possible. So now you’re thinking, “Why don’t you just see what the other person is doing and react accordingly?” Because apparently my hand, unbeknownst to me, must make some alternative gesture that the cool person picks up on and changes in mid-stream, which of course leaves me dead center in the land of super awkward gym guy who is trying to do a low slap on the middle fist bump. Ugh!

So please, for the love of God, and your own degree of coolness, avoid trying to fist bump/high five me at all costs. Because this might just be contagious, and trust me you sure as hell, don’t want to catch what I have!

High five!

Uncle D

  1. sorsini1 says:

    That was hysterical! Thanks for a good laugh!

  2. jhan313 says:

    Fist Pump!!

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